Personal Tag Archive

Remembering August, Sr.

August is my dad’s month. It is I think our clan’s month. Augusto was born August 27, and died August 8, 44 years apart. He named my younger brother Augusto Jr. Some of his “apo” was born August- Russel Aguilar Aug 17. Paul Austin De Vera Aug 10.

While my other siblings Lynette, Betsie and Augusto Jr  inherited the brilliant mind and effortless knack for “pakikisama” of my dad, I am in awe of his craftsmanship and attention to detail.

He worked at a raw, ramie textile factory, supervising people from different ethnic backgrounds during the “volatile” Mindanao in the late 70s and early 80s. Assuring an export quality, high grade ramie textile for San Miguel Corp is no easy task. He developed a keen sense for quality almost invisible to most eyes. I asked him how he knew “premium quality ramie fibers” by just rubbing it on the dorsum of his hand. “It feels a bit smooth, little rough undulating”. “And when you comb the fibers with your bare hands, the bad ones stall your fingers like tangled hair strands ” he added. “Smells different too. Like a wet rotten leaf. ” Well, his sense for fine grade, premium quality “material ” is not limited to ramie textile. He met, chased and wooed my mom within this same company. A boholana and a beauty queen, mom couldn’t resist my dad’s keen sense for “premium quality”. She married him.

I used to tag along with my dad in his office, on the field, and even in the remotest areas of Mindanao where non muslims rarely went to. “What are we going to do in that place pang?” I asked. “We’d be visiting a sick worker and hasn’t reported for days” he said. That was the first time I saw a “boss” going to a worker’s house and in a “no mans land’ at that. I still remember the surprised look at the weakened face of that worker. He couldn’t meet us inside his bamboo shanty, who I think , could barely hold 2 adults. The sick worker offered us his only barako coffee, then he handed a dried, sweet local delicacy to go with the coffee while we sat on bamboo ladder to his house eating. “Drink or eat anything they offer” my dad told me. “Thats the only thing they have and when they offer it to you, it meant they value your presence more than anything in their possession”. I was barely 7 or 8 years old then and never drank coffee but that was the most inspiring coffee I ever had in those times. I saw my dad hand something to the worker. I’m not sure if its money, a medicine or what. I just heard the word “thank you” in the vernacular. This is also I think one reason why my dad is well loved by his workers. ( At the necrological mass, trucks of his muslim workers eagerly waited outside the christian church just so they can bid goodbye to their boss friend).

My dad can also whip out a toy gun out of anything. From the stem leaf of bananas, wooden “de tansan” from spare lumber, sulpot made of bamboo. “I want a scooter!” I asked him. So he builds a wooden scooter with wheels made of old ball bearings! He is good with his hands, a craftsman i suppose. He sew all our torn bags. His mind is always busied by his hands. He draws all my school “drawing” assignments. And he is always pre occupied covering our notebooks and books with not only soft paper covers but cardboard plus transparent plastic cover on top!

Augusto, is also a very sociable person. He blends well in any group and is loved by both his workers and his bosses. He is the barkada for everyone. He’s unassuming, jovial , communicates well and has this ability to hold everyones attention when needed. He is a prolific storyteller and was a company’s toastmaster. He laughs with all his mouth wide open to his ears. I never heard him ridicule anyone nor comment on someone else’s’ misfortunes or activities. He also is a beer drinking suave. Explains why he is a constant fixture in any of his barkada’s gatherings. He loves “sabong’ thats he breeds and grows fighting cocks. He doesn’t bet though as gambling is strictly prohibited in our house. He taught me in my young age how to breed and prepare fighting cocks for derbies. I only retained the “how to cook tinola” part or if his fighting cock lose, how to eat 3-4 “balut’ in one sitting.

I was a “papa’s boy” said my siblings. True. I stayed with my dad often. I never really fully understood why he died earlier than everyone. He was just 44. I was just 8 years old then. Yet over the years I realized he never “left” us at all. He, together with our mom, inspired all of us to be where he wanted us to be. He told my eldest sister he wanted a doctor in our family. After he died, I never even thought I could go to college much less be a doctor. But look where are we now. To Augusto and my mom’s credit, they also now have an accountant, a teacher and hopefully a lawyer soon. We’re all papa’s children after all, aren’t we?!

So pang, I only got one request to you ever since you left ahead of us. Take care of me, us in all my journeys. I still remember that worried look you have every time I hop and jump above a ten foot stack of ramie textile. But you always send some angel to watch over us. I would still love that angel with me 🙂

PS. Ikaw ang “lodi” namin..

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Tips for Consistent Meditation

Here’s how I was able to consistently meditate daily.

  • The best time to start meditation is now. Start with the basic 10 minute guided meditation (Headspace if you chose to)  It’s free!
  • Be clear about your goals on why you are meditating. Is it for personal, career, relationships, relaxation or any other reason?
  • Do guided meditation in areas full of distractions (too much noise, movements)
  • If you have tinnitus, a low non destructive sound should help negate it. Surprisingly, I can meditate now without sounds even if I have tinnitus.
  • A familiar, silent place for meditation is desirable for starters but is not necessary. I do meditate on the bus or inside my parked car.
  • Comfy but not slouchy chair is recommended.
  • The most comfortable sitting posture for you is recommended. You don’t need complex sitting postures to meditate.
  • Don’t fret when you are distracted, because you will be, often and a lot. The most important thing is, you bring back yourself to meditation as soon as you notice you’ve been distracted.
  • Practice meditation as consistently as possible preferably on a regular time schedule. I do mine consistently in the morning and set alarms for this.
  • Practice “breathing in meditation” for a minute or two in situations you’re really stressed out. Mind you it works wonders!

That’s it! I hope you will start and enjoy the benefits of meditation yourself! 

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Meditation for Busy People (Like Me)

If you want a simple, actionable meditation practice to jumpstart your own meditation here’s my ridiculously simple guide for busy, upstart professional like me.

I once thought meditation is for people who have hours to spare doing some weird postures on rubber mat. Well, I don’t think I would be able to do those postures and I don’t have hours for mediation. I was dead wrong. You don’t need those bone stretching bends nor hours just to reap the benefits of meditation.

Before anything though, let me clarify something about my meditation practice:

  • I’m always searching for ways to optimize my time, effort and finances to achieve life goals. I read “optimisation’ books and resources online, snatched a few ideas, tried a method or tool onto myself or tweak it to my context. Meditation is one on these optimisation tools (termed mindful tools in this site) I’m currently learning. Thus, I can only attest to the result of my own experimentation.  
  • I’m not a meditation expert, nor I teach meditation in any form.  I’m not prescribing a particular meditation technique for you and your lifestyle. You have to find that out for yourself.
  • You might be tempted to ask but no, my meditation does not have any religious dimension to it.  I,  as well as many well meaning practitioners ( Tara Brach, Sam Harris, Tim Ferriss ) shy away from such undertones because no single denomination has the monopoly of meditation and its benefits. There are more similarities than differences you can find in meditation that cuts across beliefs and religious denominations.
  • The benefits of meditation are also not confined to a single method or the level of meditative practice you’re in!   Case in point, me!  I had all those benefits even if I only allotted 20 minutes of my time each day!

Having said that, I enumerated the benefits of meditation in this post. After experiencing some of the benefits I listed, I decided to include meditation in my must do tools daily.

Most meditative practice I’ve tried contained 3 basic foundational elements:

  1. The first element is on body posturing and finding an anchor to focus your attention. This rely on the body’s contact to environment and breathing.
  2. Second element is about collecting the mind, called “coming back” when one is distracted during meditation.
  3. The practice of “being here”, the practice of being mindful, recognizing and allowing  non-judgmental presence completes the third part . 

Let’s jump to my current meditation practice. This is a guided meditation based on Headspace Take 20.

  1. 5 minutes to 0 minutes : This is me settling on my meditation area. I often fidget so I make sure I’m well seated upright, free from distractions. 
  2. 0- 5 minutes : With eyes open and sitting comfortably on a chair, hands/arms on my lap, feet on the ground, back on the chair support, I familiarize with my environment. Then I start deep breathing.  After 5- 6 deep breathes,  I close my eyes with the last out take of a deep breath.
  3. ~5-10 minutes : I return  to my normal, regular breathing. I use the five senses to be “aware” of my surroundings- the feet on the floor, my back on the chair, those smells in the air, the sounds I hear. Then I go on identifying my present emotional state and feelings, doing a quick head to toe scan for any discomforts. The idea is to acknowledge these stimulus but not being judgmental about it. It is in this part also where I clarify my goals on why I am meditating.
  4. ~10-15 minutes: All about breathing- taking note of the intake and out take, how regular or irregular it is and where is breathing felt on my body. Then I start counting my breaths from 1- 5, then going back to 1 and start counting again. If I’m distracted, I just going back to one and start counting again. The “bringing back” exercise is very important here. Some practitioners consider meditation a success if you are able to “come back” from distractions !
  5. ~15-17 minutes : I let go any control of my thoughts. I just let my mind to do what it wants to do or what it wants to think.
  6. 17-20 minutes: I bring back my mind to my anchor points– breathing, environmental stimuli etc, making sure I am aware again of my environment. Once I do, I open my eyes, blink and remain seated while focusing on what I’d be doing next. After that, I’d do a bit of upper body stretch then get on with my daily activity.

    If  you noticed all of these foundational elements (plus some) are in my meditation practice. You can copy and tweak this to your liking. Better yet, try first Headspace Take 10 before jumping deeper into meditation. I listed tips on meditation in this post. For more tips, tools and updates on meditation, do subscribe to this blog and get it right in your email.

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    How Meditation “Win the Day” for Me

    I started with a ten minute guided meditation just a few months back. I’m now on Day 20 of a longer Take 20 minutes guided meditation.  My meditation routine is far from perfect (not one are, according to many veteran meditation practitioners) but I plan on continuing this habit. Here’s why:

    I started with Headspace‘s ten minute guided meditation (Take 10)  just a few months back. I’m now on day 20 of a longer, Take 20 minutes guided meditation.  My meditation is far from perfect (none are, according to many veteran meditation practitioners) but I plan on continuing this habit. If you are wondering what made me take on this habit, here’s why:

    1. Laser sharp focus to what I value most– family, career, education, finances and advocacies. I could analyze efforts and results calmly and start with actionable steps right away.  Finding balance between too much analysing and decision making paralysis also improved noticeably!
    2. Decluttered my life – together with journaling, I’ve cut down excesses like unnecessary expenses and mindless going outs.  I also had some success on achieving my low information diet goals like reducing TV time and social media glut. For example, I managed to take off  1,000+ friends on FB without noticeable effects on my social media advocacies.
    3. Balanced Optimism– I’m taking every information as constructive as possible, avoid whining or debating minutiae and would rather find solutions or actionable steps.
    4. Boost in energy level with less caffeine.  Brought my caffeine sensitivity level down (3 cups) but added a kicking hour to my productive day.
    5. Patience– able to could withstand mean people, events or happenings longer. I empathize more than before. 🙂
    6. Creative thinking and doing. I went back to actively finding solutions myself to challenges I used to outsource before. Read on reports and papers meticulously than before. Renewed interest in fixing things around- appliances, furnitures and hacking ones I needed. I also had more time to read books!

    My routine is so simple I could meditate while inside a bus, inside my parked car or just about anywhere you’re comfortably seated!  So give meditation a shot! Take the simplest meditation to follow and stick to it even just for ten days.

    Interested what or how I do my meditation routine? Stay tuned for my next post on this.

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