You probably knew by now that I failed miserably at purging my friends list on Facebook. I did several “rounds” of unfriending but ended up adding more friends.
Facebook is making it hard for me so this is my last recourse. Read.
IT’S ME NOT YOU: MY FACEBOOK PURGE LETTER
I’m having a hard time using Facebook like a “normal person”. So in the next 2 weeks, I’m doing something drastic. Please don’t get offended. Even my mom will be affected by this.
When I joined Facebook back then, I thought mixing personal and professional accounts wouldn’t be a problem to me. I was wrong. I’m giving myself as well as my FB friends a lot of nonsense.
Just to highlight:
⊗ *Personal friends and family who aren’t interested in my professional and business interest found themselves bombarded by boring Facebook postings. Most of them are just being polite by not saying and I am so amazed by the ones who tolerated me.
⊗ *Colleagues, associates and business partners get confusing and sometimes offensive rants that are not helping them get productive at work.
⊗ *Personally, I don’t know how a “normal person” would use Facebook nowadays with the thousand plus friends and the confusing, unpredictable newsfeed algorithm of Facebook.
⊗ *I value my time. And so is the attention and time of my friends. I only have control of my Facebook profile so I’d be doing this in the next 2 weeks or so.
So, I will be unfriending EVERYBODY in my Facebook list (yes, my mom included so don’t get offended) and will send you this note:
I’ve sent everyone on my FB friends list this note.
I will be converting this profile to “public figure” and will generally act as a homebase for my professional work and other business interests – social media, photography, blogging etc, through their own ‘pages”.
I’m not yet keen on getting a Facebook personal account again. When I do, it probably limited to my family, and really personal OFFLINE friends. I suggest you don’t add me there.
I feel this will be the best for everyone -personal or professional “friends” alike
You have three options:
All of my professional, niche and interests have blogs and Facebook pages of their own. If you felt you relate or connected with me via any of these page please feel free be a “fan” of the page of your choice by LIKING IT. That way, you’ll get only updates from me related to those interest. Nothing else! Isn’t that wonderful?
Here are the list of my pages and related content .
1. The Bone, Joint and Spine Online (my orthopedic practice) https://www.facebook.com/bonejointspine/
2. Cast & Curious ( as a medical blogger and healthcare social media enabler) https://www.facebook.com/castandcurious/
3. The Hiker’s Itch ( my travel, hiking blog )
4. Twelve Inches Behind ( My photography site ) https://www.facebook.com/travelshoottell/
5. Tacurong City Online ( Place blog for my Tacurongnon friends) https://www.facebook.com/tacurongcitynet/
Option 2 –
If we really are friends (i.e., you know my corrected NSO name) feel free to friend me again on Facebook – I’ll respond shortly.
I’m not yet thinking of getting a Facebook personal account again. When I do, I’ll find my friends again.
Option 3 –
I’m sure this move will offend a few. Please understand I needed to do this.
Didn’t mean to offend – sorry if I did.
This social media fascinates me. At the same time, I needed to reclaim time by making meaningful connections with friends OFFLINE. So if you feel the same, drop me an sms and we will have coffee some time.
Thanks for understanding.
(Note: This is a modification of a Facebook bankruptcy template by Paul Colligan as shared by Tim Ferris. Credits goes to them.)
“Damn! It’s freezing out here! ”
Less than an inch thick of corrugated cartoon insulated my body from the pavement. There’s about a foot of ceiling overhang sheltering us from the foggy sky. I was oblivious to passers by and vehicles traversing the street. D2 to K2 mountain traverse (Philippines 2nd and 4th highest peaks) is a tiring feat for weekend hikers like me. So post climb, I really didn’t care if I’m sleeping on a pavement.
“Well, what the heck. I’m too numb and tired to feel cold”.
Why didn’t I get a decent hotel room I can afford that time? Most of my climbing buddies are expense savvy vagabonds who’d rather spend on travels than a decent hotel room. The social decorum among climbers is that we go where the pack goes. So I go where they go. Even sleeping on pavements.
Looking back now, my reasons for “trying out the pavement instead of the decent hotel room” goes beyond the group’s social decorum. I was re learning a habit I learned growing up which faded when I already afford decent hotel rooms.
Being comfortable with discomfort.
I slept on a folding bed at inside a bus terminal because I can’t afford a hotel room. I rode crappy inter island sea vessels because I can’t afford a ticket for a commercial plane. I can survive a day on a single pande sal and a cup of 3 in 1 coffee. In early med school, I live in a 2 x 4 meters room with 3 double decker bunk bed. Your bunk bed is your study table, eating table and your sleeping space. Military bunks are way better. I once thought I couldn’t go home to Tandang Sora QC after wasting the last peso in my pocket, but did so by walking from Taft Avenue Manila all the way to our apartment. I collapsed in exhaustion but I did survive.
Losing a job? I applied as a part time bank teller and a fast food service crew but was rejected. Overqualified. I had to quit a job and was literally jobless for a year. Well, I didn’t die either. Yeah, I was rock bottom broke but I did survived. Poverty made me fearless in the past. I fear nothing because I could only go up from the abyss of poverty. Back then, the rock bottom is my trampoline to success.
Until I got comfortable with comfort.
When the time came I can afford decent hotel rooms, I worked like a cog on a wheel to maintain my ability to afford a decent hotel room. No, I’m consumed by it. Then life choices became so much more complicated.
The fear of going broke and the world will end.
This is the kind of fear that consumes me now more than ever. That fear that if we don’t work hard to protect our “comfortable life” today, we go broke and die. Even if that “comfortable life” does not in any way contribute to productive, of true value gains to our life. Worse, that comfortable life clouded our path to finding something, someone of value to us.
My personal experience could only vouch for me. I did hit rock bottom before and I was ok. No decent hotel room? Sure, I can sleep on a pavement. No taxi? Sure I can hike! I went broke but the world didn’t end. That’s not so surprising, right?
Finding a way to combat fear.
Maybe it took me some time to look back at my past experiences to find a way of combating fear. A way that I’ve unconsciously tested by in the past. Something to anchor my profound curiosity for experimenting on life hacks to achieve goals of value. I need a strategy to optimize my decision making process and get rid of fear that is consuming me. I had to actively re create or maybe simulate what worked for me in the past and regain habits that brought me to something of value.
Voluntary poverty or some call it, “simplicity” is an “optimisation” strategy wherein you actively get rid of options that are not of real value to you to un-complicate many decision making process. Central to this is knowing what is of true value to you to remove unnecessary choices in the equation. This optimisation reduces the chances of you being stuck in the decision making process and actually make a decision.
Many of us are often caught in that decision making process trap. A good practical example is choosing what clothes to wear. Did you know that a human being spend some 15-20 minutes choosing what to wear each day? Imagine what you can do with that 15 minutes each day to be productive. Talk to family, meditate, journal, read 2 pages of a book. What a time saver right?
Most of the people I admire, or people I consider successful practice voluntary poverty or simplicity. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, AJ Jacobs, Kevin Kelly (co founded Wired magazine) all who despite their vast capacity to indulge in their money, chose to live a life of simplicity and converted the time they earned to build something productive.
Wait. “Voluntary poverty” is NOT an excuse to waste money on something that do not give you true value or a profound sense personal fulfilment. Spending all your money on vices that does not in any way help achieve productive goals is not optimising. It’s pure time, money wasting. You can only do voluntary poverty when you have unscrewed what you value and your priorities are clearcut. Or at least you’re trying to.
Another important component here is that you are able to convert those saved time, effort, or money to something of value to you.
So why I am saying this loud? That practicing voluntary poverty is a way of optimising ourselves and combating fear??
First, I believe voluntary poverty could save me valuable amounts of time, effort, and money I can use to fuel more productive goals in life. Second, I should not be afraid of going broke whenever I embark on something to improve myself. I’d go for it and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. I have been to rock bottom before I did ok. Why should I be afraid now?
I shouldn’t be. Poverty made me fearless.
“So, concerning the things we pursue, and for which we vigorously exert ourselves, we owe this consideration- either there is nothing useful in them, or most aren’t useful. Some of them are superfluous, while others aren’t worth that much. But we don’t discern this and see them as free, when they cost us dearly.” -Seneca, Moral Letters, 42.6 as quoted by Ryan Holiday in The Daily Stoic.
“Today I escaped from the crush of circumstances, or better put, I threw them out, for the crush wasn’t from outside me but in my own assumptions” –Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.13 ( from The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday)
Last week was perhaps my busiest and ironically, my most productive week so far. Right of the bat, let me clear it out that “busy” is not the same as “productive” and I try to be more of latter. How? Please read my last post.
So basically I’m updating what I’ve achieved (or not achieved) so far on my #lifedoover:
I’m still doing the old school, handwritten, spring bound notebook type of journaling. I missed two days last week, since I was on the road most of the time. Apart from that, I felt great after finishing each journal entry. Nay, I relish it. I’m beginning to focus on more important things, listing only 3 top tasks each day and actually finish 80% of it. 2 out of 3. Not bad for a beginner. I still have to work on a what not to do list each day in the coming weeks will be on . Just to fine tune my focusing attitude. I wish I can develop a format for evernote, but I’m pretty sure thats just one other distraction for me.
Headspace 10 days trial. Fifteen minutes, 2x each day. I’m still on the 4th day of the app, but I meditated without my smart phone too so it wasn’t counted there. The first 3 was difficult for me but I like the effects on breathing, self awareness and most especially on my sleep. I can now induce my body to sleep with this quickie meditations. I have to get meditation into my psyche now, without my smartphone where the app is, because I’m also consuming less info nowadays.
Low information diet
The more chaotic part of my do over, life redesigning attempt. I got some negative feedback from people, especially on missing out sms, private messenger and emails. I explained though that I’m working on being productive and is avoiding distractions from repeatedly glancing on my phone. I also gave out schedules for people to contact me then tried some auto responders. The autoresponder failed on many occasions. My social media engagement dropped significantly by almost 60%. I’m not sure if that is good but, I also had time bringing offline conversations to real, in flesh friends. 🙂
I did consume tons of audiobooks and podcasts, probably because I’m on the road often. I’m almost done with one hardcopy and is simultaneously reading half of a non fiction. Then, crap I bought 4 more new books! Now I really have to cut off some more of my “busy look” time! I’m totally orgasmic each time I finish a book. Couldn’t wait for a next one!
I’m writing this didn’t I? I also am about to publish a vlog, maybe this week after post processing. I still have to finish that book on digital interview and podcasting. I’m quite fascinated how I’m learning so much deconstructing interviews, picking out habits, tips I could use myself for my #doover. It’s pretty amazing , there’s literally so many stuff to learn from people. Oh, glad I listened to Maria Popova‘s (Brainpicking) podcast on How to start a Blog? Because she just said…”Write for yourself”
A ton of opportunities exploded last week. The “good problem” still lingers in me and I have yet to get a grip on my bearing. Why I am not yet calling the shot? I don’t know. Maybe I did already. Ah, I did get a feedback I might be overdoing stuff and is just killing myself. Well, maybe thats a good way of killing one self right? Or because I’m in the habit of “overdoing” things thats why opportunities just pops out right off the hood.
Something to work on next week. Diet, exercise and photography. Plus I really have to work on my roaster hack! For coffee!
Now, about that quote in the first part of this post. It simply mean that everything that happened to us, it was mainly our own doing. Owning up our actions, thoughts, decisions and everything else we do. We are the only ones who has access to our mind, our freedom, our will. Not anyone else or some thing outside us. So own up, and do not blame others!
If you guys wanted to meet me in flesh, have some coffee, or a life conversation (yup you’ll be on my vlog) or maybe just shoot landscapes, give me a call. Or comment below. 🙂
That’s what most intelligent people do. Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein and even our own Jose Rizal. Most of the people I admire also keep some sort of a journal to write. While my being “intelligent’ is clearly debatable, you need not be intelligent to start journaling. Trust me .
What’s the benefit?
This recent scientific study tells us that journaling (a form of expressive writing), reduces negative thoughts and “improves working memory”. If you insist on the long list of potential benefits, go to this Hufftington article. If you are not yet convinced by benefit #5, please stop reading this post. I really don’t want to waste your time. ( You might want to read the bad effects of journaling here.)
What convinced me to go back journaling?
I did a 80/20 analysis of my skills and habits back and found out that journaling (portion of that 20% desirable habits) contributed to 80% of my collegiate success! Journaling gave me a personal space to blurt out my thoughts, deconstruct my dilemma and then gave me focus. Journaling also taught me how to outline strategies and solving seeming unsolvable problems.
Math for me before is an unsolvable problem. I grew up dreading every math subject or numbers bearing courses. Everybody hates math. Even my classmate who aces math exams, hate math. I hate classmates who aces math exams. I write these thoughts on my journal. I write how it took me one semester to crack a single item calculus quiz. I wrote about how I would answer end of chapter statistical questions while sitting on the toilet bowl. On the brighter side of journaling, I also write on my journal the times when I’d successfully reverse engineer math solutions of my classmates! It is then that I discovered I was better solving math problems by reverse engineering solutions. In short, I kind of solve my math fear, by journaling.
Wait. Why I am telling you all these? Well, I’m publicly declaring I’m journaling again. I also need you my friends, to call me out from time to time and see how I’m doing with my journaling do over (#dooverjournaling). Coz, that’s what friends are for, right? (say’s cliche..)
Here’s what my evolving journal look like now.
This is a chimera of journal templates by Tim Ferris, Sam Thomas Davies and the 5 Minute Journal. I have a weekly overview and a two part (morning/evening) daily journal. The morning journal is usually the attitude setting and tasking part while the evening journal is sort of a reflection and ideas exploration part. It’s not complete yes, and is evolving each day.
Look at my journal months ago.
Forget the crappy handwriting and ridiculous icons.
How should I (or you) know my progress? Or what if I’m not journaling at all? How would I know if my journaling is giving me the benefits it ought to give?
To be honest, I do not know. I have triggers for journaling in the morning and in the evening. I might have to publicly show some of my not so personal journal entries to prove I’m in fact still journaling. Short of head knocking me, maybe a good old, “Hey you’ve publicly posted a challenge, don’t be an arse and keep journaling!” How’s that for a challenge? I’m just kidding. No really, humiliate me.
Lastly, I’m thinking this should be fun. I’m finally doing something for my #lifedoover I mentioned in this post.
So help me gods.
An unexamined life is not worth living- Plato
Recently, I’ve been hooked to The Tim Ferris Show amazing podcasts. These podcasts are mostly self improvement “experiments” by the popular, New York Times best selling author of The 4 Hour Work Week, Timothy Ferris.
Tim Ferris, for all those who do not know him, amassed quite a number of life hacks by deconstructing the habits of successful people and experimenting most of these hacks to himself! Which is sometimes odd.
The following Tim Ferris “self improvement hacks” piqued my interest.
I definitely have something to do in the coming days. Or at least try to.